What are the characteristics of a narcissist? The narcissist is very self-obsessed, they have a sense of entitlement and feel they are above others. The Narcissist is very shallow and focuses on self-image, status and impressing others. This feeds their ego and they will stop at nothing to succeed in this. They will disregards other people feelings, they have a true lack of empathy and cannot form a close meaningful relationship. Narcissist will see how others can benefit their lives and will use that person until they are no longer needed. There is no true attachment to others only to themselves.
Narcissist come across as very charming, caring and confident, this is often covering up insecurities, and they rely on others admiring them and feeding their ego to give them a sense of self-worth.
Studies by Psychologist Sarah Davies suggests that narcissists are drawn to caring, kind, generous and considerate individuals as people with these qualities, the Narcissist see them as easier to manipulate.
An Individual experiencing narcissist abuse can be manipulated into believing that their partner’s behaviour is normal and they are the one in the wrong. A typical scenario of a narcissist behaviour could be:
That a couple have arranged to go out and the narcissist doesn’t turn up. The narcissist will give a flippant excuse like. “I have been caught up at work and my work is important, if you loved me you would understand. The partner then starts to doubt themselves thinking “Maybe they’re right maybe I’m too demanding, maybe I’m being a diva”
Continuous narcissist abuse affects your self-esteem and self-worth, you can start to believe that you are not good enough because to a narcissist no one is good enough. You can end up losing your own voice and echo the behaviour of the narcissist to please them. You can slowly lose your own identity and become dependent on the one person that is making your life hell.
Breaking away from Narcissist abuse
When a person breaks away from a relationship with a narcissist the often face uncomfortable truths- like the fact that they have been complicit in a dynamic by allowing themselves to lose their voice, opinion and confidence. Rebuilding these can be overwhelming. Learning to make decisions again, learning to be assertive, learning self-care and learning about themselves and who they are again. It can be a long an emotional journey.
Our SHH empowerment coaches have designed the SHH programme to ensure women can move on from experiences and traumas exactly like this. We do this by:
Using self-reflection to look at childhood, past experiences and life decisions that affect present behaviour
* Looking at individual thought processes, the law of attraction and how to turn negative thinking into positive thinking.
* Looking at developing a strong self-worth and identifying individual values and beliefs.
* Looking at techniques and thought process in improving self-esteem.
* Exploring yourself mind, body and soul and looking at self-care.
* Looking at unhealthy relationships and identifying what the warning signs are then looking at healthy relationships.
* Understanding different types of behaviours within relationship and learning how to deal with them in a healthy way and identifying personal boundaries.
* Discovering assertiveness.
* Identifying personal and future goals.